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May I?” asked Monica.“All right, but stay fully dressed. I want you to keep your clothes on.”Barry, absolutely erect under his clothes by now, wondered if Monica would be able to get his clothes over his heavy, thick, bulging erection. What was it Helen claimed she could grow it to? Twenty two centimeters, or as she preferred nearly nine inches - and so thick. Some things were just not meant to be measured in metric, Helen used to like reminding him. Just a few weeks ago, by judicious and slow teasing with her tongue and mouth, for what had seemed half the night, Helen had proudly claimed that size with a tape measure in one hand and his balls in the other, “To make it really big.”Right now though, with his eyes on one naked woman and a fully clothed one about to undress him, he was confident that he was much bigger than ever before. Bursting point in fact.Monica could barely stop her hands trembling enough to grasp his belt and undo it, then the zip - at the same time amused at how. ” “They don’t like that in heaven,” God said. The woman replied, “They’re not too happy about it in Costco either!”1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn’t!2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.5. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.6. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.9. I’m not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.10. Out of my mind ... Back in five minutes.11. God must love stupid people; He made so many.12. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.13. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.14. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?15. Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!16. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be.
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